In White People News: Paris Ordered Back to Jail!!


I’ve been following up on this story, but I didn’t think Paris was worthy of my writing time. However, so much has been going on these past few days that I just MUST report it. First she gets out of jail early for an “unspecified illness” after serving less than 3 days of a 23 day sentence! Now you know that was going to bring out Al Sharpton getting ready to march on Washington. He was reportedly in talk with the California DA to get her back in prison to serve her sentence. I have no clue whether that had any impact, but I do know that homegirl messed it up for herself anyway. So much happened today that I can’t even rewrite the whole thing. said it best, so I’m going to use their direct timeline to give you a rundown of the ignorance that went down today. Proceed to laugh your ass off. 

June 08, 2007. is trying it’s best to keep up with this Paris Hilton mess. Here’s what’s gone on so far. We’ll update this posting everytime something changes.

10: 45 – Paris Hilton was supposed to come to court this morning to appear before the judge. Miss Smarty Pants decided not to come to court. Instead, homegirl tried to call in and have the judge say what he had to say over the telephone.

11:45 – The judge SPAZZED OUT and sent a police car over to Paris house to go bring her azz to court. Now there’s helicopters following the police car and everything. It’s almost like the OJ Simpson car chase

12:11 – There’s all kinds of commotion outside Paris’ house. That chile’ may be trying to run

12:55 – The Sheriff arrived at Paris’ house..

1:15 – Paris is in the police car. It looked like they had her in handcuffs…

1:20 – HOLY GUACAMOLE!!! The craziest thing happened. The paparazi attacked the police car with Paris in it. Them fools wuz trin’ to get a picture and almost caused an accident. This whole thing is such a FREAKIN MESS!!!!

1:25 – One of the NBC reporters got run down by Paris in the police car!! BWAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA!! He’s alright though…

1:30 – There are reports that Paris was scheduled to throw a party tonight to celebrate getting home early from jail. Word is that Nicole Richie was going to be throwing it. And the judge spazzed out after he found about the party…

1:55 – Paris Hilton has arrived at the courthouse


3:05 – Reports are that when Paris learned she’d be going back to jail she started screaming “Mom, Mom, Mom” and the Court Officers had to drag her off to jail.

3:10 – The Judge is now making Paris serve out the full 45 day term (as opposed to the 23 days she initially was scheduled to serve).

Guess there’s not party tonight…


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    I am an ENTERTAINMENT reporter! I am not claiming ownership of these photos, because I did not take them. I am also not claiming truth in these reports, because I have no way to prove that everything everyone says is true. I try to use "reportedly" and "allegedly" as much as I can for things I'm not sure of, but keep in mind that sometimes I may forget to put that in. I use various sources to find my information: news reports, articles, other websites and blogs. I try to credit everyone for any story I have borrowed, but if I forget just ask me to add you to my blogroll and cite you as the source. Lastly, I would greatly appreciate if you would like to add tips to my site. Email me at, and I will DEFINITELY give you the credit you deserve.